Home > Bad Luck Update, Stories From Small Town > Bad Luck Update and I Don’t Speak Cow

Bad Luck Update and I Don’t Speak Cow

If you are new to my blog you need to start with Accidents Happen. This is the continuing story of achieving incredible dreams and finding myself along the way, NOT. This is really the story of my life as a police cadet, officer, and then detective after my midlife crisis. If I get more than one midlife crisis, I think I’ll be a spy for the CIA. (A girl can dream, can’t she?)

In between felony cases, pets, gardening, and my husband, I’m a writing fool. Due to budget cuts and injured officers, I’m also working some patrol shifts. It hampers my case load, but being on the street is always interesting.

I was able to work a night shift a few weeks ago. Nights have a different feel and your brain goes into heightened sensitivity mode. It left me exhausted (brain dead), and feeling my age. The other officer on duty enjoyed laughing at my expense. I had never realized before, at least not on the job, but I’m a hugger. I know so many people in town and we don’t shake hands, we hug. By the end of the shift, my fellow officer counted three hugs. We probably came in contact with fifteen people. I hugged two people during separate traffic stops and one after going to a woman’s house on a call for service. At one point during the night, I thought we were in for a high speed car chase. It was nice to feel that adrenaline rush again. The bottom line is I love being a detective. Helping victims (hugs) and putting bad guys away for a long time is what I live for.

Writing is my other passion and I’m hard at work on the Bad Luck Officer book. Writing a novel is much different than writing my blog and I feel my blog is being neglected. I’ve been thinking about sharing stories from the streets of Small Town to keep my blog alive. Some stories will be in the book and some won’t. I work very serious cases, so forgive me for sharing only the lighter side of my adventures. It’s a great stress reliever. In BLO, the book, I have included the serious, terrifying and humorous adventures of my first two years as an officer. A rookie’s life is never dull.

You may be asking yourself, what’s with the cow picture at the top of the page? I named her Bertha. She and I did not get along. Bertha refused to go back into her fence and I was nothing but a pesky fly on her ass. I tried honking my horn and then using my siren. It’s possible Bertha is deaf. She ignored me. I finally called a rancher friend of mine for advice. He told me, “You don’t speak Cow.” Darn! I’m good with animals. I understand horses and dogs. Cows though, are beyond me. I ended up giving Bertha a swat on the rear end. What did she do? She kept eating. This fly meant nothing to her. The conclusion to my story is the dumb cow won. I’ll leave you to decide who the dumb cow really is.

My garden speaks for itself. I modeled it after a Spiritual Healing Garden I found in a book. My husband calls it the alien landing pad. You can see lots of strawberries in the back right corner. My garden also produces onions, squash, zucchini, herbs and tomatoes. The picture is this spring’s garden before wildness takes over. The pride and joy is my fishpond. I have four, eight-inch goldfish I raised from fifteen cent feeder fish out of a Wal-Mart’s aquarium. Their names are Uno, Dos, Tres, and Quatro. Stripe came to a tragic end last year, but that’s a story for another blog. Think Killer Fish meets Rottweiler. Stripe put up a good fight though.

As always, thanks for checking in,

Next post “A Police Car with Heart” http://wp.me/p15Fdq-5r

  1. July 4, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Too funny Suzie!!

    Well I don’t know about a steer cow, but I did spend quite a bit of my childhood on a dairy farm. If you want a dairy cow to follow you, you say “Come boss. Come boss.”

    And if you ever come across a stray domestic pig… It’s “Sue–ee. Pig, pig, pig.”

    Though I wouldn’t recommend using the call for a Javelina.

  2. July 5, 2011 at 7:28 am

    I love your blog entries! And I love the idea of the small town stories from the street! I live in a town of 8500 people (in Maine) and there’s a local police beat in the weekly paper. I’ve written a couple of blogs about it…. from a humorous, writer point of view. I’d love your opinion!! I have always imagined my alter ego to be a detective or spy but I don’t have the courage you do. It’s nice to live vicariously through you, though! (p.s. as for the cow, my husband worked on a feedlot when he was in h.s., and he claims cows are the dumbest animals ever…. and basically will do whatever they want to do at the moment unrelated to anything a human is suggesting…)

    • July 5, 2011 at 6:41 pm

      Thank you Julia, I loved your blog post where you mention someone calling the police for woodchucks under their shed, even knowing they would make the police beat in the newspaper. Protect and Serve, that is our job, even for people with a woodchuck problem. Don’t think we don’t laugh and groan though. Some days if it’s really busy, we’ve wondered what someone would do if we showed up and shot the offending animal in front of them. It’s just a dream and we really wouldn’t be that cruel to the animal and shooting or Tasing the caller can’t be mentioned in writing.

      You look young enough to still attain a detective or spy goal. Don’t give up on dreams even if they seem out of reach. At 39, I never thought I would go to the police academy. As women, our power grows with age. I love your blog and your outlook as a writer. http://www.wordsxo.com I will add you to my blog roll.

      • July 8, 2011 at 9:38 am

        Just saw this when I came back to look at your latest post — so nice of you to add me to your blogroll! (As for my age, I will only say that my family is known for it’s youthful looks…. and I’m definitely too old to join “the force” 😉 However, I will write about it — if you think the woodchuck post was funny, I wonder if you read my post about when my apple tree branches were stolen?


        I’d LOVE your impression…. (oh geez, hope I’ll still be on your blogroll!)

      • July 8, 2011 at 10:01 am

        The apple tree post is wonderful! http://www.wordsxo.com/2011/05/police-beat.html People ask me all the time if they will be in the newspaper. I never thought it would keep people from calling and making report due the amount of idiotic complaints we receive. A recent one was a man living in a travel trailer. The sink and toilet are side by side in a very small bathroom. The soap slipped off the sink and landed in the toilet. He felt someone snuck in while he was sleeping the put the soap in the toilet. He wanted me to check the soap for DNA. I swear I couldn’t make this up if I tried. PS. You’re still on my blog roll

  3. July 5, 2011 at 11:42 am

    Just stumbled on this blog! So nice to see another woman blogging about law enforcement. I’m a female fish and game officer (who just started blogging) and have helped deputies out with my share of “cattle out” calls. Always end up with cow nightmares for some reason.

    • July 5, 2011 at 6:54 pm

      I’m so glad you found me and I’m adding you to my Blog roll. http://www.fishcopoutofwater.blogspot.com I laughed out loud reading about your exploits as a Game Warden. Your blog post I’ve Only Had A Couple was right on the money! If I had a dollar for every time a driver told me they had two beers, I could retire.

  4. July 8, 2011 at 8:42 am

    I just happened to stumble across your blog. I think your book sounds very interesting and I love the title. You have an advantage of having real experience to draw on. Keep working at it. 🙂

  5. August 17, 2011 at 6:13 am

    There’s a book too?! You’re gonna be famous. And I just tweeted about you, my first shout-out. A personalized signed copy is all I ask. 😉

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