Home > Stories From Small Town > Guns, Pink Handcuffs and Alcohol

Guns, Pink Handcuffs and Alcohol

When I went to the police academy, my first firearm was a .40 caliber Glock 35. It has an extended barrel and it’s a competition shooter’s weapon of choice.

In the beginning we had a love hate relationship. It was the first firearm I had ever shot and building a good partnership took time. The men in my department all give their rifles and shotguns female names. I was the first to name my sidearm and he was christened after Dirty Harry.

Clint and I worked well together for two years but then I was promoted to Detective. I was issued a smaller, easily concealed .40 caliber Glock 23c. I named him Fabio. Maybe that was the problem. Fabio and I never hit it off (pun intended). My shooting scores went down and though I continued to qualify on the range, I wasn’t happy.

Many changes are happening in my department and I was given the chance to work with Clint again. Fabio you may be better looking but you’ve got nothing on Mr. Eastwood. The First trip back to the range and Clint kicked your ass.

This leads me to pink handcuffs.

About six months into my career as a law enforcement officer, I saw a pair of pink handcuffs in a police magazine. I had to have them. I was teased by fellow officers, but mid-life comes with benefits and not caring if you stand out is one of them. My pink cuffs have the place of honor on my duty belt and I have a backup pair (also pink) in my outer Kevlar vest. Because I’ve learned through the years that you can never have enough handcuffs, I own black and silver pairs too.

If a juvenile is going to jail, and they aren’t giving me any problems, I let them pick the color. The boys always pick pink so they can brag to their friends. I’m quite popular with juvenile delinquents.

Pink also happens to be my choice for abusive men and child molesters. When I put handcuffs on my suspects, they are facing away from me and don’t know they will stand out when entering the jail. The guards know my rules and they enjoy asking my prisoners what they did to piss me off. They want to be the first to let the suspect know he’s in pink.

I’ve saved my money and I’m now looking for a pair in baby shit yellow. This leads me to alcohol.

A police buddy of mine once told me, “This job will drive you to drink.” My friend finally reached a point where he could no longer take it, and ended his career in law enforcement.

I live in a very small town and we never have enough officers. I am the only Detective and I am on call 24/6.5. It’s okay if this doesn’t make sense, I’ll break it down. Beginning Saturday nights at 6pm, I turn off my cell phone and ringer to my house phone. I then turn on the margarita blender. I am unavailable until after I wake up the following morning, usually around 6am.

I discovered early on in my career, that I absolutely need down time. If my fellow officers didn’t know I was drinking they would knock on my door after I refuse to answer my phone. Even knowing I drink on Saturday nights, they knock “just to check.” My husband kicks them off the property.

One day, I was scheduled to fill in for our School Resource Officer, and decided to give a presentation on underage drinking. During my research, I discovered I am a binge drinker. A binge drinker is a person that drinks more than five alcoholic drinks in one sitting. Being a binge drinker leads to alcoholism. Since learning these troubling facts, I bought larger glasses and I stop at four drinks. I also make frou frou margaritas using real strawberry, mango or lemon. This must count for something.

I never mix drinking and guns but drinking and pink handcuffs can be kinda fun.

Until next time,
Detective Ivy signing off

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  1. skoonr
    August 16, 2011 at 10:54 am

    32oz “Big Gulp” glass is one glass right?

    • August 16, 2011 at 11:01 am

      I like your thinking and in my opinion it’s one glass. If we ever partied together we probably wouldn’t survive:-)

  2. August 16, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Wow, you’re kind of awesome.

    • August 16, 2011 at 11:32 am

      I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you!

  3. RD.
    August 16, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Great Post. Very Honest.

  4. Christine Grote
    August 16, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    Very entertaining.

  5. August 16, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    I want some pink handcuffs! Very amusing post!

  6. August 17, 2011 at 4:57 am

    I love your posts, Suzie…and your take on the job. 🙂 I will be sharing this story with my (cop) husband.

    • August 17, 2011 at 8:03 am

      Thanks Linda, I hope it reminds him to look on the lighter side of the job. We see some horrible things and deal with people at their worst. This is my therapy.

      • August 17, 2011 at 11:36 am

        He’s actually off the streets now and doing prevention full-time. Just the kind of thing you were doing when you researched binge drinking, lol!

  7. August 17, 2011 at 6:40 am

    Ha!
    I saw some pink handcuffs while I was shopping one day with my cop. I had wondered at the time what kind of kick-ass cop was out there using them…. 😉

    • August 17, 2011 at 8:06 am

      We now have 2 female cops and I gave her a pair of pinks as a welcome to the department gift. I’m writing about her in my next post, poor thing.

  8. August 17, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Thank you for solving this little mystery for me: I have seen ads for different colour cuffs for a few months, but could not believe that it was not a joke of some sort… And a couple of guys I asked were convinced that it definately was a joke 🙂 ! (Suckers 😛 !) A question, if I may: do you gals have the option of wearing a skirt (probably in class A or even B)? Thank you, and Take care!

    • August 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

      When I started my career, I was told I could write the policy for female officer’s hair, uniform, etc. I thought about Class A skirts but just couldn’t do it. What if an emergency happened while I was in a skirt? Tumbling around on the ground with my panties in the wind would not be a pretty site. They do make them though. Also, colored handcuffs are used in jails to identify types of prisoners; felony, misdemeanor, violent, medical issues, etc. It was nice of them to use pink:-)

      • August 21, 2011 at 1:04 am

        Thank you! I thought it would be similar: where I came from (Russia) female offcers also have this as an option. It was neat to get your answer:-) How is your book moving along, btw? Hope all is well and take good care : -) !
        -s

      • August 22, 2011 at 8:25 am

        Sorry, I’ve been working or would have replied sooner. Book 1 is in final stages of editing. Book 2 is complete but I don’t want to think of editing yet. Wow Russia. Wonderful to connect with you on WordPress.

  9. August 18, 2011 at 9:41 am

    The color of the cuffs is not important but if you are comfortable with them that is the main thing. I like the statement they make with the suspects who give you a hassle. I think pink is appropriate for the great clueless horde. You are most likely a real asset to your department and your community because you have the courage to challenge convention, to think outside the box and still be effective as an officer–even with all the stress and strain that few if anyone ever actually understands. Thank you for sharing this fascinating tidbit. God Bless you and thank you for your service.

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