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Archive for November, 2017

Sexual Predators Run Amuck

November 13, 2017 1 comment

Do you feel society’s run amuck in today’s #metoo avalanche?

 

Honestly you should because it has. But here’s the thing… You need to be listening. You need to be sharing. You need to be fighting back for all the men, women, and children who suffer at the hands of predators.

I predominantly worked sex crimes for six years. I’ve seen the devastation from the front line. I’ve held the hands of men, women, and children who survived. I’ve put the guilty behind bars. I’ve watched the guilty do their time and return to the streets to repeat their offense. I’ve helped take children from mothers who didn’t believe that special man in her life did the abuse. I’ve looked children in the eye and told them I would keep them safe. I failed on two occasions because the cases were never prosecuted. And I’ve cried.

Here’s what you need to know if you’re on the fence about the sexual assault avalanche.

 

1) It’s normal for someone who’s been sexually abused or assaulted to NOT report.

2) It’s normal for a survivor to be ashamed and feel guilt to the point that they take ALL the blame.

3) It’s normal for a sexual assault victim to wait a year to report. Arizona changed the law on sexual assault collection kits. A man or woman can come in and have the tests done and also refuse to prosecute. This way, when he or she is stronger, the evidence is available. Why did Arizona change this law? Because it’s more normal to delay a report than to file right away!

4) Child molestation is a learned behavior. If your child is acting out sexually, you need to be looking closely at the people in their inner circle and asking your child questions. If something comes from questioning let your child know you love them but stop questioning and contact law enforcement. (Email me at suzieivy@gmail.com for more info on what to expect if you call police)

5) There is a difference between sexual assault and sexual harassment. Sexual assault is a felony crime. Sexual harassment happens in the work place or walking past a construction crew and includes lude behavior and/or making you feel uncomfortable. It is however NOT against the law or handled by police. Touching you on any part of your body OTHER than breasts (female only), vagina, penis, or anus is considered simple assault and can be prosecuted. Touching your breasts, vagina, penis, or anus is sexual assault and NOT sexual harassment. It IS a felony!

The power of those who stand is amazing.

 

If you’re not ready to stand, it’s okay. This is something each person must decide for them self. The one’s who stand have your back and are fighting for those without voice. We will not be silenced and the avalanche has only begun.

I wrote this post years ago but if you missed it, it’s worth reading… When They Stand

#metoo

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Memories That Won’t Let Go And That’s Okay

November 7, 2017 5 comments

The case that defined me for so long happened on November 5th, 2008. It changed my perspective on life. It changed me as a mother and grandmother. It changed me as a cop. No matter the horror, I’m a stronger woman today because of it. I’m also stronger because of one amazing woman who was thrown the cruelest twist of all.

This morning, I received a beautiful photo from her to commemorate the love she still carries. The picture was of her and her husband before he was murdered. The two of them look so happy and full of life. The picture was taken only months before the homicide. It’s a reminder that even nine years later love is still in her heart. It amazes me that I’m in her thoughts too. Ours is a tragic bond that both of us will forever remember. This woman opened her arms and heart to my pain even while dealing with her own. You see, this incredible couple were my friends and neighbors. Her husband’s death hit me deeply but more than that, we shared tears so many times during that dark winter.

I remember one night, walking across the street to her house in the bitter cold in my bathrobe. I was still working long hours on her husband’s death but we both needed the comfort. We talked, and cried, and even laughed over heartwarming stories about their marriage. I’ve told her many times that even when all seemed lost, her strength kept me going. It might seem strange that the police detective sought comfort from the victim but that’s how amazing this woman truly is.

Each year on my evaluation, I was knocked for becoming too close to my victims. I would read the words, pull up my big girl panties, and swear I would place a wall between me and the people I dealt with. It never happened. What I didn’t know then but discovered years later: I still hear from the people thrown in horrible circumstances and I’m able to see the new wonders in their life. I live for these communications and I’m so glad I never changed who I fundamentally am to do my job.

Cases come and go but so many memories stay with me. They live inside me and sometimes take me down a dark path. Most of the time they offer comfort because of the incredible people who survive untold tragedy and keep going. These amazing people are my inspiration and my beacon in the darkness. They somehow survived and they give me hope.

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I have a new project that I’m excited about. Bad Luck Cadet is out for a limited time as part of a box set with two other amazing stories of women who went after their dreams. It’s the best Christmas gift for that special strong woman in your life. Available in paperback and ebook. Don’t miss out! 

Amazon-eBook * Amazon-Paperback * Kobo * Nook * iBooks

 

 

 

 

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