Home > Stories From Small Town > Memories That Won’t Let Go And That’s Okay

Memories That Won’t Let Go And That’s Okay

The case that defined me for so long happened on November 5th, 2008. It changed my perspective on life. It changed me as a mother and grandmother. It changed me as a cop. No matter the horror, I’m a stronger woman today because of it. I’m also stronger because of one amazing woman who was thrown the cruelest twist of all.

This morning, I received a beautiful photo from her to commemorate the love she still carries. The picture was of her and her husband before he was murdered. The two of them look so happy and full of life. The picture was taken only months before the homicide. It’s a reminder that even nine years later love is still in her heart. It amazes me that I’m in her thoughts too. Ours is a tragic bond that both of us will forever remember. This woman opened her arms and heart to my pain even while dealing with her own. You see, this incredible couple were my friends and neighbors. Her husband’s death hit me deeply but more than that, we shared tears so many times during that dark winter.

I remember one night, walking across the street to her house in the bitter cold in my bathrobe. I was still working long hours on her husband’s death but we both needed the comfort. We talked, and cried, and even laughed over heartwarming stories about their marriage. I’ve told her many times that even when all seemed lost, her strength kept me going. It might seem strange that the police detective sought comfort from the victim but that’s how amazing this woman truly is.

Each year on my evaluation, I was knocked for becoming too close to my victims. I would read the words, pull up my big girl panties, and swear I would place a wall between me and the people I dealt with. It never happened. What I didn’t know then but discovered years later: I still hear from the people thrown in horrible circumstances and I’m able to see the new wonders in their life. I live for these communications and I’m so glad I never changed who I fundamentally am to do my job.

Cases come and go but so many memories stay with me. They live inside me and sometimes take me down a dark path. Most of the time they offer comfort because of the incredible people who survive untold tragedy and keep going. These amazing people are my inspiration and my beacon in the darkness. They somehow survived and they give me hope.


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  1. Rhonda
    November 8, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    Such a nice post😊

  2. Janice J. Richardson
    November 10, 2017 at 12:11 pm

    You were told to not get emotionally involved too? The funeral directors who criticized me for the same thing drank heavily or were bitter and disgruntled. Connecting with another soul at the worst time in their life is wrong? I don’t think so. Both lives are enriched and helped by the experience. Great article.

  3. November 11, 2017 at 9:00 pm

    Your ability to connect with others is also what make you a great writer and friend! 😉

    • November 12, 2017 at 11:44 am

      Speaking of connecting. We need to and then it will make me a good friend again 🙂

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