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December 31, 2015 6 comments

Thank you for your service!

 

dreamstime_l_35373793My husband and I were shopping at Cosco when an older man stopped us and asked him about the Durango, Colorado shirt my husband wore. I took a trip to the lady’s room while the two of them spoke about Durango. When I came back there was a woman, who I thought was the daughter of the older man, standing beside him waiting patiently for the conversation to end. She was around our age.

My husband and the man shook hands and we turned to walk away. The woman said to the older man, “Sir, I would like to thank you for your service.”

I hadn’t taken notice that the man’s hat said Vietnam Vet until she spoke.

When we finished shopping, the two of them were eating together in the small food service area. I take my hat off to this woman. I know she made that man’s day. She also made mine.

The people we take for granted.

 

Every Tuesday we collect the garbage from our trash bins, empty them and move the large outside bin down to the street. The trash is picked up at around 11am.

I love our front deck and it’s a great place to read a bit and catch the morning sun. It’s high above the street which offers a bit of privacy. I was lost in my book when I noticed the loud rumble of the garbage collection truck turning up our road.

The young boy who lives next door, about five or six years old, ran to the road to watch the truck. He was jumping up and down and waiving at the driver. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, due to the noise, but there was something in his hand. The driver stopped his truck, turned off the engine and jumped down to see what the boy had.

Here is the conversation…

“My dad is teaching me to whittle and this is what I’m making.”

“That looks mighty fine. Remember to be careful with knives and be sure to show it to me when you’re finished.”

“My dad is teaching me to be careful too.”

“He sounds like a great dad. You be a good boy, now.”

He turned and went back to his truck, started the engine, and picked up the garbage.

These small acts of kindness made me smile.

My goal in 2016 is to pass it on and hope that someone somewhere smiles over something I do.

Happy New Year,

Suzie

 

Taking a Bite Out of Amazon

November 5, 2015 32 comments

Amazon removed thousands of books from their site yesterday.

Books were removed because of three keywords located in the title’s information page in the keywords section: Free, Bestseller and Kindle. It didn’t matter if your book was free, an Amazon bestseller, or a Kindle eBook; Amazon pulled the plug.

Approximately two weeks ago, authors received notices from Amazon giving them five days to comply with Amazon’s Terms of Service (TOS). If you’ve ever looked at Amazon’s TOS you might understand why the biggest problem was identifying words that Amazon now claims are a no no. Many authors missed “Kindle” in the long boring diatribe known as TOS and suffered the consequences. Yesterday, November 4th, also known as National Stress Awareness Day was Amazon’s We Removed Your Book Day.

Maybe it’s only me who sees the humor in all the stress this entailed.

 

canstockphoto15630335

Authors suffered overwhelmingly and relived the tragedy online in many writer’s groups. I don’t have the exact numbers but I’m sure many were hospitalized or even died as a result of having their books removed and their sales plummet. When I have a casualty list, I’ll update this post. Please send me a death certificate to accompany all claims of heart attack, stroke, or choking resulting in death so I’m not accused of exaggeration.

I have decided to take a stress-free approach at least as far as Suzie Ivy is concerned. Bad Luck Cadet & Officer, The Forever Team and The Forever Delinquent are no longer for sale on Amazon. You heard me… nope, nada, zilch, nanny nanny poo poo.

But, have no fear Kindle users (we’ll now call this the dirty, K-word) my books are available in mobi edition on such sites as SmashwordsChat eBooks and Gumroad (my buy direct store). And if you own an Apple device, Nook, or Kobo reader, you will find my books available at their stores because they play nice with others. The paperbacks will still be carried by Amazon for a limited time. That change is coming soon, though.

You might be asking if I’m really taking a bite out of Amazon by removing my books? Honestly, it won’t even be a blip on their quirky, ever-changing radar. But, I feel better and that’s what counts. I’m cutting my dependency on Amazon by removing books and ordering books and goods through other retailers. In my opinion, K-word Unlimited is the worst tragedy to happen to authors since the last book burning, but, that’s a whole other blog post, Air For Sale.

Whether you’re with me or against me; I’d love to hear your comments.

Suzie

 

 

 

 

Categories: Humor, Writing

Air For Sale

October 6, 2015 Leave a comment

Two friends enjoying lunch…

 

Friend one: So, I have an idea to make money.

Friend two: Tell me!

Friend one: I’m going to form the largest website in the country and sell air.

Friend two: {pause} Okay man, I hear you. But, you do know every county in this country has a place where you can get your air free. They have shelves and shelves of the stuff and let you check it out for several weeks at a time.

Friend one: I know but the six major suppliers of air also need a distributor to sell their product. I’m going to call my company Airman.

Friend two: Good luck with that man.

 

Two years later… (Airman CEO during office meeting)

 

CEO: My new idea is to give everyone a chance to sell their air. There are a lot of people out there who have dreamed of creating air their entire lives.

Employee One: You actually think people will buy air that isn’t made by the six major air suppliers?

CEO: I do. The independents can offer slightly lower quality air at low prices and give the main suppliers a run for their money.

Employees: We’re in, let’s do this {cheers}

 

Two years later… (Airman CEO meeting with his department heads, Airman controls forty percent of US air supply, six major air suppliers are now five)

 

CEO: Now that we’re global and everyone knows who Airman is, I think we can give our independent air suppliers more incentive if they go exclusively with us. If they can’t sell their air to anyone else eventually our competitors will go out of business.

Department head one: You honestly think these independent suppliers would stick with us?

CEO: If we make them money, they’ll do it. They’ve come to depend on us and have bills to pay.

Department heads: We’re in, let’s do this {cheers}

 

Independent Suppliers online forum:

 

The secret to success is to have a quality product so we can compete with the five major air suppliers and offer quality with lower prices. Your label and product need to be professional. A graphic designer for the label and a good filtration system for the air. Here’s an example:

Our air is the best1

Two years later… (Airman CEO with department heads, Airman controls sixty percent of world air supply)

 

CEO: Our competitors have hit a few bumps but they aren’t going away. I want to start a subscription service and supply air to buyers for a low monthly fee. Once a subscriber breathes 10% of the air, the independent supplier gets paid about half of what they originally made.

Department head one: So you think our independent suppliers will jump on board with this and stick around?

CEO: I know they will. We’ve made them a lot of money and if they want to keep selling their air they don’t have much choice.

Department head two: Do you think this will significantly lower the number of competitors we have?

CEO: It’s a sure bet!

 

Independent Suppliers online forum:

 

Independent supplier one: I’m taking a real hit on my sales and estimate I’ll make a lot less this year than I did last year.

Independent supplier two: I took the exclusive road and things aren’t as good as they were before but I’m still making a living.

Independent supplier one: What happens when the other distributors are out of business and Airman can pay you anything they want?

Independent supplier two: Since you’ve stayed with those other distributors, I was going to ask you the same question.

 

Two years later… (Airman CEO with department heads, Airman controls 70% of world air supply)

 

CEO: Did you know that many of our independent air suppliers have windier air than others but we calculate all air at the same price on the monthly subscription plan?

Department head one: I’m hearing grumblings from some of our independent suppliers that we should take the exclusivity clause out of our subscription plan. If we did, no one could touch the number of different types of air we sell.

CEO: {dirty look} I propose that instead of paying our EXCLUSIVE independent suppliers after someone breathes 10% of their air; we pay per breath. This way the breezy independent suppliers make more. The breezy suppliers will make about the same amount they did before because in the beginning we’ll sweeten the pot and add some extra funds so they don’t see where we’re heading with this idea. Once our competitors are out of business we can give smaller and smaller payouts to the independent suppliers and control the world.

Department heads: We’re in, let’s do this {cheers}

 

Independent Suppliers online forum:

 

Independent air supplier: No one’s answered me for days. Is anyone here?

 

Categories: Horror, Humor

Writer’s Fact Check: 48 Hour Myth

September 14, 2015 1 comment

Months ago, my husband and I were watching a movie when I came unglued over a scene where the police made a woman wait 48 hours before reporting her friend missing. This is total BS and is harmful to the public. My dissing an incorrect police procedure from Hollywood is a common occurrence in my house but I don’t usually jump out of my chair and scream at the television. My poor husband almost had a heart attack.

A few days ago, I was reading a really good romantic thriller and ran across the same situation. I marched downstairs, Nook in hand, and read the passage to my husband. He was working on his fantasy football draft. I must give him credit because he listened patiently to what I had to say. When I finished, he asked, “Didn’t that recently upset you in a movie we watched?”

woman screaming1See, my screaming had a lasting effect and he remembered my outburst even during football draft.

So Authors! Get your facts straight. The 48 hour rule is not just a myth, it’s dangerous to the people who read your books and believe you know what you’re talking about.

As a detective, a woman in my community waited 48 hours to inform the police that her son was missing. I helped dig his burned body from a shallow grave. This is why I scream and stomp my feet. If you write mystery, thrillers, police procedural, the last thing you want to do is spread false information that could possibly do more harm than good.

48 HOURS IS A DANGEROUS MYTH!

 

So let’s take a look at the truth:

  • Police take the totality of circumstances into consideration. It’s not against the law for an adult to take a trip and leave without telling anyone however police will always file a report.
  • Did the missing person pack clothes, toothbrush, wallet or other essential items? What about their vehicle, is it gone too?
  • Was there a family fight? Police can and will place an alert on a vehicle license plate.
  • Is this a common occurrence?
  • Do you live with the missing person and if not have you checked their home? The police will do what’s called a welfare check. I’ve done my share. Many are for the elderly after out of town relatives call. Several have ended in finding a person dead of natural causes.
  • Does the person have special needs; medication, mental or physical disabilities requiring assistance?
  • Why do you feel they are missing and endangered?

It should go without saying that any missing child, 18 years of age and younger, is endangered.

Stop the myth and do your job as an author. Research please. Screaming fits in my living room are extremely bad for my husband’s health and my blood pressure.

Rottweilers and Detectives

June 2, 2015 Leave a comment

The Forever Team is available in paperback ($5.99) and eBook (99 cents).

The Forever Team2

Six months ago The Forever Team released as part of 10-Code Project to raise money for the national Law Enforcement Officer’s Memorial Fund. I don’t have the figures yet but I’m very excited to see how much money we raised. Thank you everyone who purchased a copy.

I worked very hard this past month to make The Forever Team appropriate for age 10+ readers. This means I cleaned up the language and sexual innuendos that made it true to life. The changes don’t effect the story but for the first time, my grandchildren can read a book I’ve written.

As a long-time rottweiler owner, I want you to know this story is very close to my heart. I had just lost my six-year-old Rottie to cancer when I wrote The Forever Team. There were so many tears shed it was hard to see my computer screen at times. I’m hoping there are a few more Detective Jolett books in me because I really want to revisit her world.

Buy links: Amazon Kindle * Paperback

New Cover and #FREE through June 6

Bad Luck1Bad Luck Cadet & Officer has a new cover and to celebrate, it’s FREE at Amazon through Friday. I really need some reviews on the combined version so if you’ve read both or missed them, please grab a copy of the combined books while they’re free and consider leaving a review, thank you.

I’ve decided against writing another Suzie Ivy adventure. This decision relieves my mind because I’ve always been worried about the victims of crime. Instead, I want to fictionalize some of my adventures and possible use Detective Jolett as my alter ego. We’ll see where these thoughts take me. Right now, my romance writing is keeping me busy.

Buy link: Amazon Kindle

If you’re a member of Kindle Unlimited several of my books are available for you as a free download. Bad Luck Officer & Cadet and writing as Holly S. Roberts: Play, Strike, Kick, Slam, and Crimson Warrior.

Dragons Don’t Forgive is Live

DM-DragonsdForgive-432x648If you read my steamy paranormal books, Dragons Don’t Forgive, the third book in the Fire Chronicles Series releases today too. There are four books planned and I’m hard at work on the final installment. I’m adding an extra dose of humor to this one because Dragons Don’t Forgive is a tad on the heartbreaking side. It does have a happy ending, though so don’t let me turn you away if you’re interested. Just think Gor meets Little House on the Prairie. If that catches your interest you might want to read the series. Dragons Don’t Cry is book I and Dragons Don’t Love is book II.

Amazon US: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XJTQPKI
Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00XJTQPKI
iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/potqv2l
Nook: http://tinyurl.com/odbkusx
Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/542052

Now I need a vacation! We leave next Monday and I can’t wait!

Summer Reading

May 23, 2015 Leave a comment

RTP 1It’s time to stock up on summer reading and I have just the book. Best of all it’s 13 brand new stories and the cost is only 99 cents. My friends; New York Times, USA Today and Amazon best-selling authors, got together and published Romancing the Paranormal with fun and sexy stories for hours of reading on a sandy beach, back yard lounge chair, or favorite under the ceiling fan reading spot. It boils down to 8 cents per hot guy and is worth every penny.

My book in the collection, Fang Chronicles: Tyboll, can be read as a standalone and is a humorous tale of a grumpy bear shifter who meets his match with a bear shifting witch. I promise you’ll laugh at what it takes to straighten him out.

Amazon US – http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TUI7KK6
Amazon UK – http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00TUI7KK6
B&N- http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1121249890
Kobo- https://store.kobobooks.com/…/ebook/romancing-the-paranormal
ITunes- https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id968896087

On a side note, I will get the rights back to my latest police story, The Forever Team, on June 1st. It’s currently available on Amazon in the 10 Code collection and all proceeds benefit the National Law Enforcement Officers 10codeMemorial Fund in Washington, DC. When this story returns to my hands, the gritty content will be removed making it appropriate for age 10 plus readers. The original story will no longer be available so if you don’t have a copy and want to read it with true-life verbiage here’s the Amazon link:  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PR9QWJM

Now if the weather would finally get warm and stay there, I could pretend I was on a beach!

Happy reading,

Suzie

Categories: 10-Code

What Type of Girl Grows Up to be a Cop?

February 22, 2015 Leave a comment
Suzie 18-months-old

Suzie 18-months-old

As a child I had a fascination with police officers.

They represented authority, an awesome uniform, and a courageous presence that I found intriguing. Why do kids grow up wanting to be cops? What will the next generation bring to the badge?

Cowboys and Indians were big when I was a child. I always wanted to be the Indian; wild and fighting back against the big bad cowboys. Yes, I know this is politically incorrect today, but in the sixties it was big. I had a small bow and arrow set and fought, totally out-gunned, against metal cap pistols. I played with the boys because girl games were boring. Add small plastic dinosaurs and Match Box cars when indoors and I could entertain myself for hours on rainy days.

Read more of this post at Uniform Stories. The pictures, including the banner at the top, are of me as a child. And yes, I caught those fish all by myself.

I also have a recipe for Paleo Non-Wheat Thins at Below The Salt News and a new paranormal book announcement at Wicked Story Telling.

Until next time,

Suzie

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